Food consumption can be influenced by a variety of factors. For as much as food is part of a person’s life, I feel like there is not enough conversation about the relationship people have with food. Since we interact with food so much, disordered eating can become common and not everyone has a healthy relationship with food.
Growing up, I wouldn’t say that I gave food much of my thought. I ate meals without thinking about them. Of course, I had favorite foods and loved chocolate and desserts, but nothing was extreme or out of the ordinary.
It wasn’t until high school when I started more intense sports that food became a bigger part of my life. In high school, I swam competitively and ran cross country and track. Practices for these sports were every day after school and were very intense. My body was not used to this intense exercise, and I definitely needed to increase my food intake. However, when it came to running, I did not like the feeling of having a full stomach during exercise. Sometimes I didn’t eat lunch and ate very small items for breakfast. This decrease of food intake combined with high intensity exercise was not healthy. I would say that my eating became disordered, and I was obsessed with only eating healthy foods. I thought this is what I needed to do to become a faster runner. It led to many health problems and a poor relationship with food. Even though I was trying to avoid food as much as I could, I was always thinking about food because I was hungry.
Since I restricted food intake so much during high school, it took a while to have a good relationship with food once again. Once I allowed myself to have more access to foods, it was very hard to stop eating. It was like my body wanted to eat more in preparation for future restriction. Many times, I would feel out of control with food and unable to stop. I felt sick and gained lots of weight. I went from being underweight to overweight in a very short period of time. I had a bad relationship with food and wondered if I could go back to enjoying life and not feeling guilty constantly.
Now, I have learned and come to have a much better relationship with food. It has been a journey and didn’t happen overnight. I have learned that moderation is so important. One thing that has been extremely helpful while recovering is mindful eating. It is important to listen to your body and eat when you are actually hungry and stop when you are feeling full. Food is meant to nourish your body. It is important to not fall into either extreme of undereating or overeating. There are many factors that influence how we eat, but it is most important to be mindfully aware of what you are putting into your body in order to function at its best.